broken constellation
Jing Xi. 19. Antique hoarder. Flower collector. Self-taught realist. Innate dreamer.

"Books loved anyone who opened them, they gave you secruity and friendship and didn't ask for anything in return; they never went away, never, not even when you treated them badly."





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Diary Of A Wimpy Teen ~ Chapter Ten ~
Saturday, April 21, 2012 @ 1:46 AM `°•.¸¸.•°` leave a comment ( 0 )
OH MY....
It's been almost forever since I laid a finger on my blog - forgotten and abandoned in the ashes of death. Yes, the death of my blog has slowly brought death upon me.... :( Anyway, I really didn't mean to abandon my blog or any of you guys. You see, mid-term exams are around the corner, so I've been studying my ass off these days; digging through heaps of simultaneous equations and logarithms, wondering how in the world cell division works, racking up relative atomic masses upon molecular formulas, and trying to resist the greatest temptation of all - my laptop. Yeah, life really sucks without it, but what other options am I left with?? None. :'( My first exam was a disaster, and there's no way I'll be able to make it till graduation next year without putting in the least bit of effort in my studies, right? I mean, it's only fair this way. sigh* And besides, my mom has had high expectations for me, I can't possibly let her down again. 
Exams scare me, but what scares me most is....ME. Myself. I don't know whether it is just me or every confused teen girl out there. You're afraid yet desperate to fall in love. And when it comes, you lose control, freak out, start talking to yourself; then you write about it on your blog, list out all the things to say to him, play cool in front of him when deep down inside you're actually on the verge of exploding into an ecstatic inferno, and when he talks to you - that's when things go crazy - you can't take it. But is this really love? You don't know, or you refuse to know. Because love's something so complicated that some spend all their lives just to understand it. Something we, teenagers, have to run from until we find the courage to confront it. We are, after all, still immature beings. In other words - young, innocent, kids. 
I think it'll take me a couple of years to understand, but hey, I'm only 16, still got plenty of years to spend if you ask me. Well, I guess I better stop here now...you know, before I begin ranting and rambling about my upside-down, bittersweet life. 

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