Hi guys! :) I've got nothing much to write about today, actually. I read through every single blog post I had written for the past few months and I realized that I've come all this way - from the childlike girl with her unquenchable penchant for joyful dreams and foolish schemes to the girl I am now. Molded, sculpted, and perhaps...grown. When I fell, there was always someone to pick me up again. When I cried, there was always someone to lend me a shoulder. But when I loved, or at least tried to, there wasn't anyone who could understand, or at least try to. No, don't worry, this ain't a lesson about love and all those mushy romance, this is a lesson about life and everything else that's in it. Love...sigh*, is just part of life - something that always spirals out like a frenzied whirlwind. But no matter how much you loathe it, you still have to love it in the end. Love LOVE?!! Yeah, that's right. Love LOVE; inhale it, embrace it, feel it. But don't ever ask for more.

Seriously, I mean it. Don't ever ask for more. It's just a way of killing yourself - an unpleasant way. One more step and you'd find yourself drowning, gasping for air, screaming for someone to come to your aid. But the truth is, no one can save you, no one can pull you out of that abyss. No one but yourself. Many thirst for love, but can never get enough of it. And an avalanche is what they get - a huge mass of snow crashing down the Earth's horizon, sweeping you off your feet, blanketing every inch of your body, making your heart cold.... Cold enough to hate yourself, to hate this world, to hate love, but at the same time, thirst for more (GAWD...now I'm making it sound like an apocalypse awaiting at your doorstep). Well, as I was saying, love can't be begged for, it's something that can only be freely given. You shouldn't be begging, what you should be doing is start by learning how to love yourself. Because how in the world could you love when you're not even sure of love itself? And how in the world could you expect someone to love you when you don't even love yourself? Don't drown yourself in endless thirst, shower yourself with love and affection instead. When you feel unloved and unwanted, always bear in mind that there's always someone out there who loves you, someone out there waiting to be loved by you.
                                                    *  *  *    *  *  *    *  *  *
                                                          End of speech. 

I happened to find this on Tumblr, and just realized that this is what I've been looking for all along. This is what I've always wanted to ask HIM. What?! I'm just being a little curious, okay? And besides, no harm done. Though the saying 'curiosity kills the cat' keeps ringing in my head every now and then. I just want to know, I NEED to know. Because this guy...he just drives me insane, crazy, mad, NUTS. Sometimes, his actions make me believe that everything I used to believe in is real all along, and that we're truly meant to be; but other times, his actions are simply just grinders that crush expectations into dust, forcing me to accept the fact that everything I wanted so badly to believe in is nothing but a bunch of lies. I don't hate him, really. I'm just mad at him, REALLY MAD. 

(To readers: If you're a guy reading this, then...no offence, really. I just couldn't help it, you know.) I guess I'll just end today's post with something I love to call 'One Di-Cat-ion'! laughs* 

always a Directioner. 

♥♥♥♥