New years, ah, a time to make a list of New Year's resolutions, a time to hope for the better, a time for transformation and change, a time for new adventures and challenges. But we often forget, that new years aren't all about new stuff, it's about the old ones, too. Old promises made and broken, old memories kept and forgotten but recently reminded of, old dreams that never came true, old stories that remain untold till this day, old photos left on top of a high shelf to collect dust, old leaps we were too afraid to take, old second chances we were too stubborn to give, old 'I love yous' we were always too late to say. So many old stuff to reflect on, I guess new stuff can just wait a little longer. I'm not saying we should dwell in the past, I'm just saying we should never forget the things - no matter gargantuan or infinitesimal - that happened in the past year, that make us who we are today.   

   

So, 2013, what do you have in store for me? More peer pressure. More school projects. More group presentations. More homework. More boy troubles. And then there's SPM. Driving tests. Senior prom. Graduation. Lots of tears and goodbyes. This year is my last year in high school, can you believe how fast time flies? How unforgiving it drifts off without looking back, not even once? How unnoticeable it slips through the spaces between your fingers when you try to grasp it? As if it was only yesterday I was this naive, immature girl with short, curly hair who collected wounds every time someone called her ugly, who had no idea what it was like to fall in love and fall out of it; and today, here I am, all grown-up. Scarred but experienced.

Well, I really do hope time would just give me a little more...time. To make things right again. To fill gaps and patch up holes. To mend the broken. To give more. To love more. One year just isn't enough for me. I thought I would never say this, but...I want more years in high school. I know I always rant a lot about my school, and I know I've mentioned more than a hundred times on my blog how much I loathe my goddamned schoolmates, but when it comes to the last year, all the anger and hatred and frustration would somehow diminish. I have to admit that I'll miss my school. A lot. And my friends. A lot. And him. A LOT.

To make all those misses worth my tears, I better make 2013 the BEST year of all the years I've had. Starting from a list of New Year's resolutions and goals. But I think it's best if I do it in the morning (if I manage to crawl out of bed), 'cause right now I miss nothing more than my bed. yawns* Good night peeps, and Happy New Year once again! :)