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broken constellation
"Books loved anyone who opened them, they gave you secruity and friendship and didn't ask for anything in return; they never went away, never, not even when you treated them badly." · 25 November 2011 · 27 November 2011 · 03 December 2011 · 05 December 2011 · 14 December 2011 · 23 December 2011 · 25 December 2011 · 25 January 2012 · 28 January 2012 · 03 February 2012 · 09 February 2012 · 19 February 2012 · 07 March 2012 · 13 March 2012 · 15 March 2012 · 21 March 2012 · 23 March 2012 · 05 April 2012 · 21 April 2012 · 02 June 2012 · 06 June 2012 · 05 July 2012 · 01 August 2012 · 08 September 2012 · 13 November 2012 · 06 December 2012 · 07 December 2012 · 11 December 2012 · 15 December 2012 · 17 December 2012 · 18 December 2012 · 23 December 2012 · 25 December 2012 · 26 December 2012 · 01 January 2013 · 13 February 2013 · 11 June 2013 · 27 November 2013 · 01 December 2013 · 02 December 2013 · 06 December 2013 · 10 January 2014 · 13 February 2014 · 23 February 2014 · 14 December 2015 · 02 January 2016 · 04 March 2016 · 04 June 2016 · 25 June 2016 · 29 June 2016 |
Diary Of A Wimpy Teen ~ Chapter Six ~
 Bonjour people! I've finally reached the sixth chapter of my diary, which is something really not worth celebrating, but still it's something to be happy for, because I never thought I would actually made it till where I am today. I've always been an extremely inconsistent sluggard (I NEVER FINISH ANYTHING, especially homework). Well, at least I've managed to accomplish a little something in my life - A BLOG (two blogs actually; one I've abandoned, one I've tried to abandon but failed). So, this is it - chapter six! :) I miss you, but most of all, I miss us.... 
Sometimes, I just wish I were somewhere else but HERE. But before I start to rant, and rant, and rant about it, I'd like to say a few words to my mom: Mommy (please read this), I just want to thank you for all those crazy but wonderful moments we've had - gossiping about
This is for you mommy. Lots of love♥
XOXO
 
1) Don't stand beside me, in front of me, or anywhere near me just to get my attention. It really pisses me off.
2) Don't make stupid noises or say my name in a weird accent just to get my attention. It makes matters worse. 3) Don't lay a single finger on my stuff without my permission. It really gets me off the edge. 4) Don't walk into my life as my prince charming and then walk off as a stranger. This is probably where I'd kill YOU.  This is one of the many reasons why I choose not to believe in love. I'm not trying to deny the fact that happily-ever-afters do exist in this world of ours, but most of the time, love hurts and that's the truth. To those who are drowning in love, Jinx is here to pull you out of the mire! :) Now that you’re crossing the line....
I’m afraid I have no choice but to kill you.
Oh, by the way, did I mention that I won't be able to make it to my school exam on the 8th and 9th of March due to a once-in-a-lifetime trip to Korea? Yup, I didn't, but now I am. You see, my dad booked six tickets to Korea a day before the teachers decided to announce the date of our first term examination, and as unexpected as things go wrong in life, IT REALLY WENT WRONG! One of teachers suggested that I should ask my mom to write a letter to the principal, and so I heeded her advice. But just when I thought everything would be okay, everything turned out to be NOT OKAY. At all. I was forced to accept the fact that I'll be seeing more than 4 giant 'F's on the grading list - THIS WOULD BE THE END OF ME!!!! I freaked out, of course, and then shed a few tears; I went back home, locked myself in a bathroom, and cried my heart out. My friends tried to console me, but consolation wasn't what I needed; what I needed was someone to help me get out of this mess. I was demanding for help from everyone I knew - my friends, my teachers, and my mom. However, I didn't get any help from any of them, not that they didn't want to, it's just that they didn't know how, and I really don't blame them. It's not my dad's fault either. All I can blame is myself, but when I look at the bright side, it's actually not that bad. Not bad at all. Hey, at least I've got a chance to go to one of the most beautiful countries in the world - KOREA. My friends and I have been dreaming to go there to meet all our favorite K-pop stars, and now it's a dream-come-true for me. cheers* I'm living the dream, baby! So who cares about that stupid exam anyway? NO ONE.
Recently, I've been working on the themes of my Tumblr blogs, and today I'm proud to announce that...
I’M FINALLY DONE!!!!
Labels: no longer secrets, sweet serendipity, wimpi-ness Diary Of A Wimpy Teen ~ Chapter Five ~
Bonjour mates!! So, what do you guys think of my new look? I mean, my blog's NEW LOOK??? I've been recently obsessed with MUSTACHES. ♥ ♥ ♥ And not to mention the color PINK. Well, I do hope my new theme of fun, quirky pink and major mustache craze would help to brighten up your dull days, and get you through those agonizing hours of - for crying out loud! - school. Talking about SCHOOL?!! I had an extremely bad day today, even the thought of it hurt. In my personal dictionary, having a bad day at school doesn't mean having your head dunked into a toilet, forgetting to dodge while playing dodge-ball, being sent to detention for bad behavior in class, sulking over the word 'bad behavior' when the teacher spat it on you just because you've drawn a caricature of her, or anything of that sort, it means not getting what you want and wanting what you know you'll NEVER get. :'(
For instance:
I want to be popular like the other girls, but I know I'll never be. I want to be cool like the other girls, but I know I'll never be. I want to be beautiful like the other girls, but I know I'll never be. And lastly, I want to get rid of HER, but I know I'll never be able to. In case you're caught in curiosity, SHE was my best friend. WAS. I emphasized the past tense so none of you would think of me as an ungrateful, backstabbing jackass. She was the one that stabbed me first, and now I'm going to stab her back. Yup, you've got this right, it's payback time! No one knows I loathe her that much, and no one knows she's actually a devil, in the form of a human-being. A pretty HOT one, too. Being seductive is one of her specialties, or should I say her only specialty?! Sharpening her kitty claws, putting on her feline purrs....and there she goes - guys fall at her feet, and into her deadly traps where she takes their hearts out, one by one. I can't believe guys actually fall for her phony smile. What's up with those guys anyway? Brainless? Moronic? Absurd? Or simply blinded by lust?
But the worst part is.....she doesn't even like any of them. She's just doing it for the sake of proving herself to me; proving that she's hotter, prettier, and more charming than I ever was. I never wanted to prove anything to her, or anyone, because I was happy being myself and I couldn't see the point of competing with my best friend. But now, everything has changed - she, a heart-breaker destroying the lives of many; me, a fighter fighting not just for me, but for those who have not had the chance to fight back.
I came to win, to fight, to conquer, to
thrive;
I came to win, to survive, to prosper, to
rise,
to fly...
I'm inspired by this song lately, listening to it right now as a matter of fact. x) Anyway, she might have won the first battle, but that won't stop me from winning the second. And I can't wait to see the look on her face when I march off with triumph held high and she, with defeat bound around her neck. I think I can smell the glorious scent of victory now! However, you can never be sure of anything in life, especially when you're a miserable 16-year-old who has lived through nothing but failure. And when I say 'failure', I mean 'FAILURE' in all capital letters. I've never won anything in my life, not even the poster-drawing competition, which I had been believed to be the champion. :/ You have no idea what it feels like to be a total loser. It sucks, really sucks. =0=
Okay, wait, why am I suddenly on the pessimistic side again!? Well, at least I still have a mustache to cheer me up! And here's a mustache for all my lovely shooting stars and loyal readers. That's a wrap guys, see y'all tomorrow! :) ♥ ♥ ♥
 Labels: life is a roller-coaster, no longer secrets, wimpi-ness Diary Of A Wimpy Teen ~ Chapter Four ~
Hey all! Today's Saturday, and this can only mean one thing....SCHOOL'S JUST AROUND THE CORNER. And that, my friend, leads to another thing....ME FREAKING OUT WHILST JAMMING MY FINGERS UPON THE KEYBOARD HYSTERICALLY. Yup, that's exactly what I'm up to right now. "Sweetie, please don't break the laptop, I'm begging you!" and there goes my mom....sigh* What's a teen girl to do? I can't possibly allow boredom to take over my day, and so I've come up with the best solution - blogging! :)
 1) ANGPAOS OF COURSE!!!! 2) A gorgeous notebook of ivory pages and little pink flowers on the front cover - perfect for another chapter of gossip and doodles! 3) A new pencil-case, and guess what?! It's blue! :) ♥ 4) A splendid dress from my dearest aunt. ♥ ♥ ♥ I totally love it to bits! ♥ ♥ ♥ 5) A book called 'She's Twelve Going On Twenty', my mom bought it for me from a random bookstore. It's actually pretty old, and I don't think it's a New York Times bestseller, but still....it's precious in a way. :) ♥  "Get off your blog right this instant, and get into bed, young lady!" Ooops, that's my mom again! Guess I better turn off this thing before I lose my head. Good night guys, and sleep tight. :) ♥ ♥ ♥ (P.S: I'll probably be blogging again tomorrow, so stay tune guys!)  Labels: life is a roller-coaster, sweet serendipity, wimpi-ness ~ Gong Xi Fa Cai ~
May prosperity be brought to you in
the Year of the Dragon!
恭喜發財
如意吉祥
Labels: CNY craze ~ Happy Birthday Jesus! ~
 "Joy to the world, the Lord is come....."
Today is not just any day, it's Christmas - Jesus' birthday! And so....
I'd like to blog about this wonderful season of the year, and of course, to tell all of you the true meaning of celebrating Christmas. No, it has nothing to do with Santa Claus, or Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, or Frosty the snowman; and no, it is not about receiving presents wrapped in taffeta, or kissing under the mistletoe, or shopping for new clothes. Christmas is something holy, not superficial. It is the day Christ the Lord was born; a baby sent from God to ransom us from our sins, the Promised one whom we all yearn and hope for. Yesterday, before I went for caroling with my dad, I had been struggling to seek for the perfect picture with a few jolly snowmen warbling merry notes, a Christmas tree adorned in red and the words 'Merry Christmas' emblazoned across it, for the mere purpose of adding a touch of Christmas to my blog. But then, I thought it was pretty absurd of me paying attention to what seems to be absolutely meaningless; after all, Christmas can always do without a Christmas tree, but it can never do without the baby boy who gave His life for us - Jesus! :) Glory to the newborn king!  Labels: Christmas is in the air Diary Of A Wimpy Teen ~ Chapter Three ~
 Growing up stinks, doesn't it? No longer being a kid, or being treated like one stinks beyond high heavens! We, teenagers, are expected to act like grown-ups when we're really still a bunch of mischief and mayhem, but then again....we're often treated like babies in nappies. I don't want to be a baby, I just want to be a kid! One that is always treated to all sorts of ice-cream and caramel toffees, one that is often given fun piggy-back rides, one that has every right to hurl a bowl of meatballs into someone's face, one that has no idea what a world is; one that doesn't need to do chores and homework, one that doesn't have to run errands, one that doesn't need to obey rules and regulations, one that doesn't have to care about table manners, one that doesn't need to grow up. From a baby whose fingers are as tiny as marbles to a toddler who loves licking her fingers after every satisfying feast of chocolate macaroons and lollipops, from a toddler whose favorite TV shows are Sesame Street and Teletubbies to a child who adores anything pink, from a child whose sequinned dresses and shimmering skirts flood every corner of her room to a teenager whom I am right now! My life used to be a fairy-tale, plagued by bedtime stories of magical unicorns and beautiful princesses; but now???.......Plagued by prodding teachers, painful lectures, tireless pressure, history pop quizzes, homework, inextricable exams, more homework, deadlines, more homework, nasty peers, more homework, hoots of derision, more home work, gloats as sharp as nails, and - that's right - MORE HOMEWORK!!!! I want to go back in time, have a good laugh with the Teletubbies as they skip happily across the TV screen and into the sunset, with a lollipop in my cheek as its flavor begins to tickle my taste buds and burst against the walls of my mouth; I want to go back in time, mount myself onto my daddy's back and shout "Giddy-up!" at the top of my lungs, cracking tonnes of laughter with every crazy antic of mine; I want to go back in time, hop over fences, steal cookies from the kitchen, collect broken twigs and colorful pebbles, have a pillow-fight, dance in puddles, and have the best time of my life as a child! A mere child - innocent, simple, clueless, mischievous, whimsical, imaginative, and everything adorable! A teenager - EVERYTHING NOT-SO ADORABLE!!! 
I'm afraid to lose the smile I used to have when I was a child, afraid to fall in love, afraid to get hurt.....afraid to grow up. I've never been afraid of anything.....ALMOST anything! Bugs and roaches are exceptions, and so is the daunting process of growing up into a....well, grown-up! As a child, I had a smile that could light up a dark pit; a smile that was ever so genuine. There was nothing more than joy and happiness in it, but all is different now. Forcing smiles, faking laughter, and putting on masks of sincerity; tangled in a network of complications, trapped in funnels of vacancy, encased in a web of lies, and often devoured by my own schemes and twisted games. Is it me, or is it that I've already grown up?.....
BUT I DON’T WANT TO GROW UP!!!!
Yes, I do mean growing up - always tumbling into the unknown, falling off cliffs, mending every broken heart you see, traversing across the skyline to hunt down every crumb of regret and pain, seeking for answers behind every wall, making a world come to life at the turn of a key......and in the end, you get hurt, you feel lost, and everything in your life seems to be torn apart. You might have grown up, but growing up doesn't make you any stronger; it makes everything fragile, and weak - like a child. It's the truth, or is it not?.....
But here we are again - being a child! You see, when you're a child, you're always protected from the world outside the world you've known; from the world you've never known. However, when you've grown up, you'll have to break out from your sheltered bubble and into the world where fairy-tales no longer exist and dreams of marrying a prince and living in a crystal castle no longer come true. You're thought to be strong, but you're actually not.....for there's still a child within you, and that child is you. But it only appears when you get hurt, when you feel lost, and when everything in your life seems to be torn apart - it's the part of you that's weak, and at the same time, it's the part of you that makes you grow stronger each day.
There’s a child in everyone....
Growing up huh? It's nothing big, trust me. You'll just have to drop everything, open your eyes and witness the constellation of life; witness every miracle, every grown finger, every smile, every tear, every wondrous work of God. From a baby whose innocent eyes have witnessed the greatest of joy to a toddler who indulges in every small pleasure of Baked Alaska and lollipops, from a toddler whose life is filled with cartoon erasers and floral buttons to a child who relishes in every story told from a sorcerer's tongue, from a child whose dream is to never grow up to a teenager who, however, has grown up......into the child she has always wanted to be - the child within her. So if you're ever afraid of growing up, don't be, because there'll always be a child in you - always.
Labels: life is a roller-coaster, no longer secrets, wimpi-ness ~ Little remnants of my heart ll ~
 
Red.
The colour of rage and fury,
the shade
of passion and sensuality.
Orange.
The colour of joy and jubilee,
the
shade of humor and enthusiasm.
The colour of youth and optimism,
the shade of energy and effervescence.
Green.
The colour of envy and vain,
the shade of serenity and peace.
Blue.
The colour of bliss and laughter,
the shade of calmness and clarity.
Indigo.
The colour of darkness and mystique,
the shade of empowerment and victory.
Violet.
The colour of seduction and allure,
the shade of deceit and beauty. Colours can be magicians,
composers and liars;
a miscellany of sunsets and rainbows,
a medley of pastels and flora. Colours can be artists,
philosophers and martyrs;
a dispatch from magnificent conflagrations.
They can be anything you want them to be,
yet they can be everything you have never imagined.
Colours are precious gifts from God;
big pleasures found in small wonders;
magic wrapped in reality.
Cherish their rightful existence around us,
for what would the world be without them -
colourless.
Labels: precious, sweet serendipity, whisper to the wind Diary Of A Wimpy Teen ~ Chapter Two ~
  Invisibility hurts, doesn't it?.... Well, I know exactly how it feels like to be invisible, to be left out, to be forced into a dark corner, to be pushed around as if you're a nobody; to stand alone in a crowd, to seek for comfort in sheer loneliness, to live among the shadows of others, to scream for attention as if no one can hear a thing........ All I ever wanted is a little attention, is it too much to ask? No, it isn't. The truth is, everyone deserves attention, everyone deserves to be seen, everyone deserves to be heard; even those who feel as if they don't. I always wanted people to see me as who I wished I could be. I was too busy thinking of ways to make myself noticeable among the rest to realize how foolish I had really been.... 
I am not who I dream to be,
I am who I am....
I gaze into the mirror and learn to love that reflection of mine; wipe away every tear and learn to see myself as who I truly am, not who I dream to become. :)
Labels: life is a roller-coaster, no longer secrets, wimpi-ness |
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